Is AA a cult?

Alcoholics Anonymous holds a heavily veiled influence over the general population. Criminal courts readily mandate offenders to attend AA. Treatment centres across the continent and abroad ship their clients to 12 step groups en masse. Celebrities swear by it. When devoted members step forward and sing AA's praises, society is largely sold on it. AA issued pamphlets like "Is AA for you?" and "It sure beats sitting in a cell." push the propaganda into the mainstream. But much of what society perceives about AA is severely lacking. If it weren't, then there would be no reason for blogs such as this, which thankfully are growing in numbers while AA's membership is entering a historical decline.

I'm not of the view that Bill Wilson necessarily had in mind for his brainchild a dictatorship driven by madness, but it's safe to say that he had a large ego and like his co-founder friend Dr. Bob, was heavily biased toward hard line religious tenets which both he and Bob found in the fanatical Oxford Group. Bill removed all original references to a christian god from the early drafts of AA's literature in order to build the membership numbers. It was a business move; a bait and switch. Don't disenchant people with religious zeal; let the alkys get their foot in the door first, then lay the heavy stuff down when a level of conditioning can be achieved. Dr. Bob took things to the extent of forcing newcomers to get on their knees in front of him to surrender to god. This act in itself trumped even the extreme behaviour of the Oxford Christian movement.

So is Alcoholics Anonymous a cult? Is it harmful to its members?

Throughout this post are many quotes taken from AA literature, most of them penned by Bill himself.

Some common cult characteristics...

Elitism

Every cult has a purpose that is held up to be revolutionary and divinely inspired, even when logical, reasonable thought brings the protocol into question. Bill Wilson made no bones about the fact that he had found the answer to the crisis of alcoholism-the only real answer. He occasionally side-stepped his own convictions in his "Big Book" by humbly claiming to not have all of the answers, but the deeper the reader journeys into the book, the more he or she realizes that AA is an absolute, not a suggestion. Bill's 12-step dogma has actually been proven to be emotionally damaging to most people who apply it to themselves, yet the AA wheels turn, 75 years later, in complete obedience to Bill's doctrine. While he does make a small allowance in his book for alternative thoughts on recovery, that allowance is put in a very weak light:

"If he (the prospective member) thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his conscience." (give him enough rope to hopefully hang himself and see things our way.)

A few lines down from that, we read:

"If you leave such a person alone he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself."

The below passage cements Bill's true mindset, and the resulting attitude within AA. In this passage, he quickly dismisses the notion that any alternative to AA will actually work.

"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of be­ing honest with themselves. There are such unfortu­nates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasp­ing and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty." 

Here, Bill declared AA to be the absolute solution. This is a cult characteristic. Loyalty to any cult can only be extracted by claims of perfection. In what was his typical fashion of being intolerant of opposing ideas, he deflected any suspected glitches in his program by stating that if one could not accept it at face value, it was simply a matter of the individual not possessing "rigorous honesty". Furthermore, he added to that the insult that such people were sadly "born that way".

That's odd; in the same book, Bill told us that AA was merely a suggested program of recovery, and that surely he didn't have all of the answers to the mystery of alcoholism.

Indoctrination

"If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps." 

The absolute requirement- you must be willing to "go any length" with no room to bargain. This is typical of cults. Without unwavering loyalty, the society cannot survive and regenerate. When you accept your role, you're handed the program and all of its disciples. You're one of the "family". 

Recruitment 

Most cults strive to grow. Power is in numbers. The higher the numbers, the easier it becomes to hold sway over the general population. Bill charged all disciples with the task of going out into society and seeking out new believers.

"Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it...explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament."

"Many are doomed who never realize their predicament" Classic baiting; hell fire awaits you. You may not even know the severity of your plight. It's a good thing AA stopped by.

"Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not re­spond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer."

"The more hopeless he feels, the better. He will be more likely to follow your suggestions."

The art of cult recruiting: hand someone a personal dilemna; convince them that they are in crisis then offer them the solution.

Many fanatical groups, such as the Jehova's Witnesses and The Mormons, will go door to door with literature, fishing for new blood. When people reject their offer of salvation, they're branded as unbelievers and sinners. AA goes to hospitals, prisons and detox centers with equal vigour. AA takes out radio time and press space. When potential members reject their offer of salvation, they're branded as unbelievers and sinners. AA claims that its program is based on "attraction rather than promotion." Nothing is further from the truth.

Repetitive phrasing/chanting

In any cult or dictatorship, very simple key ideas are repeated often. When they are ingrained in the followers, they become truth. This is a proven propaganda tactic down through history. Bill Wilson didn't likely draft too many of the slogans that AA has adopted, but nonetheless, these words hold lethal power in AA.

Some of the most common AA slogans and sayings...

K.I.S.S. Keep it simple stupid...don't question things. Accept the doctrine...stupid.

Keep coming back...you can't succeed apart from AA.

Hang with the winners...don't link yourself to those who don't fall in line with the program.

One drink, one drunk...you have a terminal disease. You must fear alcohol.

First things first...the program comes first. Family, career and personal goals can wait.

Jails, institutions or death...your only alternatives to AA.

Powerlessness is empowering...double-speak. Nonsense. A reminder that your inner will is not acceptable.

Defeat is victory...more mind control.

The door is always open...you'll eventually see that you're wrong for leaving.

We'll gladly refund your misery...misery is all you'll experience if you leave AA.

On top of that, AA's "preamble" is commonly read aloud to open the meeting. The preamble contains that whole rambling about rigorous honesty, as well as a three point conclusion on the condition of the alcoholic, one of those points being: "we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives." 
(Remember that you're helpless; AA will manage your life for you.)

To close most AA meetings, the Lord's Prayer is said aloud in unison, usually with members all holding hands. But AA swears that it is not a religious body.

Not accountable

Cults are not accountable to any form of authority. This is to ensure that the actions of the group remain free from outside influence or scrutiny.

"With respect to its own affairs, each AA group should be responsible to no authority other than its own conscience."  AA has very little collective conscience. Much is done and said within the groups in the name of god...things that are often outright heartless.

"The General Service Board has no authority, legal or otherwise, to control or direct the behavior of AA members and groups."

The latter of those two quotes has opened the floodgates to all out abuse within AA groups. Women are often targeted for sexual purposes. Many groups isolate their members from outside influences, via constant telephone contact, home visits and insistence on faithful, often unreasonable amounts of attendance at meetings. AA "clubhouses" have spawned like weeds, turning tidy profits on recovery by running lotteries, bingos, selling food and charging membership fees. They neatly tuck the 12 steps into their agenda as a supposed afterthought; it's only a coincidence that an AA meeting, which is non-profit by rule, is held at the clubhouse. These clubhouses operate tax free under the guise of "charitable" foundations, using AA as a guise. So much for a "spiritual" way of life!

Instilling guilt/ commanding obedience

"Some of us have tried to hold onto our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." 
Surrender your free thought

"Half measures availed us nothing."
If the program isn't working for you, it's your fault. Again, this is Bill deflecting responsibility. His program is perfect.

"As the Oxford Group before them, Alcoholics Anonymous uses guilt to bring about conversion to membership. Alcoholics Anonymous has the added benefit of manipulation through fear. With these tools at its disposal, indoctrination proceeds. This is all to get a person with a drinking problem to join what has been called, and AAs own statistics back up, “a society of slippers.”"
From the Book "A critical analysis of Alcoholics Anonymous and the twelve steps" by Ken Ragge

"Admit your faults to Him (God) and your fellows"

"When you're ready for help again, we'll be here." 

That last quote came from a 12-step "friend" of mine, when I left AA for good after 25 years. I'd forged many close ties in AA over the years, but they were all severed when I left the groups, and not by me. This is par for the course. Members will not be unequally yoked. You are inferior if you reject their way of life. Furthermore, when a person leaves the program, the undercurrent of insecurity within AA members surfaces, whether they recognize it or not.

Imagine for a moment that you're in an unstable relationship. Someone comes along and questions its validity. You secretly become hostile. You decide to never speak to that person again. Deep down, you too suspect that the relationship is unhealthy, but you refuse to admit it. You refuse to acknowledge that this fear is the source of your reaction. This is the nature of the rejection offered up by hard-line steppers when someone walks away from the fold.

AA defies logical thought. It condemns in members their instinct to question its validity. AA attempts to squash those inner voices within its ranks by labelling such thinking as "self will", "over analyzing" and classic "denial".

Bill Wilson always wore the gentleman's hat and claimed that AA was but a suggested way of life, but his facade is weak. Even his literature contradicts itself blatantly. Anyone who has spent even a minimal amount of time at the 12-step tables and is truly honest about their experience can attest to AA's unwavering demand for discipleship and submission to its way of life.

Is Alcoholics Anonymous a cult? You decide.

Inherited Guilt

What is the glue that holds an AA group together? An outsider might innocently assume that it's a sound mixture of fellowship, support and acceptance based on a common bond. These things certainly exist in Bill Wilson's society, but in themselves, they are truly only bi-products of the 12 step group in action. Even the strongest of such ties in AA are easily severed.

A good example of so called fellowship, support and acceptance in AA is "love bombing". Love bombing is the act of conspicuous outward affection among members. In the meetings, one will experience many hardy handshakes, hugs and well wishers. More often than not however, when that same member questions or acts against the 12 step protocol, even in minute details such as the proper way to pray, he or she can just as easily become the target of corrective action, gossip and outright ostracization. So sadly enough, fellowship, support  and acceptance do not form AA's foundation...not even one small corner of it, despite what co-founder Bill Wilson wrote in his "Big Book":

"We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck...The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us." AA's "Big Book" page 17

Sorry, it's just not so. I can tell you with 25 years experience within the groups, that when someone hits rough waters in AA, he or she had better be a good swimmer.

So what keeps the group unified?

Inherited guilt. All members agree that they share the same incurable disease, which is classified among culters as a moral deficit. Furthermore, this disease can only be addressed through the 12 steps. This is a tenet that must be embraced by anyone who expects success within the group. It is the only concept that would keep anyone coming back to the groups; AA is viewed by most members as an ongoing necessity, not a social club.

So where did this disease come from?

Most steppers believe that at some point in each of their lives, they had a misguided reaction to an unwelcome circumstance, which set them astray on a path of no return; a decision that planted the seed of their disease of alcoholism. This reaction may have been the result of a larger than life event or it may have barely shown up on their radar. It may have been a horrific violation wrought upon them at a young age that dealt their hand or it may have been a simple snub that turned them sour and twisted their fate. Some, perhaps not able to recall any specific traumatic events in their past, say that they "crossed an invisible line" into alcoholism. Long term members often claim that they had this disease long before they discovered alcohol. (They were conditioned by AA to believe so anyway.) Regardless of individual theories as to how this elusive demon virus is contracted, the unanimous acceptance of the unique and incurable condition is what ensures AA's survival. AA's program of abstinence based living is placed firmly into the context of this belief, and abstinence is absolute if this mystical illness is to be conquered. Sobriety by any means other than AA surely cannot be legitimate in the eyes of hard line steppers. Moderate drinking is the devil's idea.

To underline this disease concept, seasoned AA speakers love to beat themselves up for dramatic effect for their audience. It convinces their fellow drunks and public alike that they really "work their program" and that the program works when one accepts his lifelong illness: "I'm as sick as they come!" "I was the worst of the worst!" "I had the morals of an alley cat!"  and the famous "I'm always one drink away from a drunk, but I found AA."  What classy, clever self-loathing! What spiritual beacons! Listeners sit in awe at the humility and honesty that rolls off the speaker's golden tongue. These pastors of the program command the pulpit and pound their chests to glowing accolades, in a manner that is anything but meek. They are showmen and die hard culters,  in high demand around the AA speaker circuit. They are the pretentious pillars of AA society. They are the perfect product of the 12 step machinery. There is nothing truly spiritual about AA, and the behaviour of many such members proves it.

Bill Wilson was a member of the Oxford group, a Christian movement of his day. Bill borrowed many of their convictions for his own cult, one of those theories being that all of one's troubles originate from his moral shortcomings and defects of character. Bill didn't stop there, as he went on to elaborate that the the dark nature of the alcoholic is so deep seeded that it is permanent and requires life long maintenance-12 step maintenance to be specific. Bill contends that the disease of alcoholism is both a "physical allergy" and a "spiritual malady". In that respect, there are two "diseases" in Bill's alcoholic! Bill also tells us that all of the alcoholic's troubles are entirely of his own making. If he was abused, he made the decision to internalize and isolate as a result, and thus become emotionally stunted and progress into alcoholism. If she was unsettled by a rift in the family, she equally made the decision to go her own way in life, and find herself ultimately lost in a bottle. The member may not even remember such an experience, although he is almost always assured that he did in fact have one! On top of that, he ought never analyze nor try to sort through any pain inflicted on him that may have altered his life; he must only and always see how he hurt others. He alone is the problem.

There is literally no end to the variables that deem one a diseased soul. AA is highly reckless in its penchant for generalizing and cattle herding the masses of problematic drinkers in order to force them into the cookie cutter. And in catering to the disease concept, the 12 steps amount to a constant cycle of surrender, confession, repentance and pretentious servitude to other alcoholics. Nothing less, nothing more.

Let's establish one thing here: alcoholism is the act of habitual excessive drinking, period. It is an action, not an illness. Physical and mental illness may well follow for the hard drinker, but not without the alcohol!

There are many reasons people drink...as many reasons as there are brands of booze. If someone is affecting their health or their loved ones with their drinking, the answer is simple: stop! And seek the specific help needed to deal with underlying trigger emotions if that is the case. We are not evil, immoral creatures for the most part. Most of us don't want to hurt our loved ones, and if we are, we'd like to stop doing it. AA would have one believe that their disease is preventing them from not hurting other people, and that on their own they are powerless to change that. More specifically, as it's engrained in newcomers across the board, without AA they are powerless to change that. It's all well and fine, they say, if you belong to a church or you see a therapist, but never forget that true freedom is found at the AA tables! Cult conditioning. Research has trumped Bill Wilson's house of cards ten times over. But as far as the archaic AA system is concerned, you walked into the meeting, and for that fact alone you qualify for their cure. No further analysis is needed and none is ever undertaken; start accepting the program.

12 steppers toss around many cliche phrases, one of them being: "Keep an open mind". (to their program) This is one of many contradictions found in the groups. Nobody offers a newcomer an open mind as they corner him and label him diseased from day one, without any investigation into the individual's specific circumstances. AA has no ethical business telling people who are already beating themselves up and looking for answers, people they know very little about, that they have this strange "moral deficiency" and that the only way to salvation is 12 steps! I've never once seen a newcomer turned away by a group because he or she didn't seem to fit the mold of their incurable condition. Trust me, they will make you fit.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I may think I'm having a heart attack, and thus get to a hospital. But no doctor in his right mind is going to strap me to a gurney and cut my chest open without first confirming my condition!

Bill Wilson, in etching out his Big Book gospel, successfully created the "disease" of alcoholism that is still widely accepted as such today. Bill's misguided concept was made official by the AMA in 1956, despite no physical or medical evidence, then or now, to show us what this disease looks like.

On top of that, countless clinical studies have proven AA's disease theory to be a hunch at best. People overcome their addictions in many ways. Alcoholics Anonymous sits at the bottom of that list as far as real success stories go. We will explore the research in depth in upcoming posts.

In 1945, AA's Grapevine magazine published a survey containing 36 questions. This survey was targeted only at AA members. The results, when returned and tallied, seemed to prove that alcoholism is no doubt a disease and nothing less. Of course, only AA members completed the survey...members who had already accepted Wilson's doctrine. 60 of the 158 returned surveys were discounted, for either being incomplete, having multiple responses to one answer questions or being written by women. So, from 98 AA members, no women, no outsiders or no medical experts, the disease of alcoholism was confirmed, just as Bill Wilson had discovered it! Bill Wilson-a man who was not a medical practitioner in any capacity, who like many of his day, saw women as inferior, who skimmed money from the early AA groups, who was an adulterer and a dabbler in illicit drugs, masterminded a disease concept that sticks to this day.

"We are like men who have lost their legs. they never grow new ones." 
Big Book page 30

Bill's big book also tells us that this disease is progressive, as people who stray from AA often end up in far worse shape than when they first encountered the cult. Of course they do; in labelling oneself as a defective product, a diseased human being, the burden of guilt when one leaves AA almost always grows into progressively problematic drinking; the individual accepted a self-fulfilling prophecy! As a result, the guilt is drowned in the familiar fashion-the bottle; there must be some relief, if even temporary! And when such a person believes that his or her troubles arose out of  moral shortcomings, they are wholly destitute. They're also programmed to believe that disconnection from the 12 steps is a symptom of their illness: denial.

The age old 12 step saying, in regards to its program: "Take what you like and leave the rest." is but a thin veil over a bait and switch operation. You must weave yourself to the tie that binds by accepting your hopeless condition, or you will surely end your days in a hospital, a prison or a cemetery.

Lies.

Upon entering AA, make no mistake, you're inheriting Bill Wilson's guilt.

Just The Facts

Loyal steppers carry their cause with a war cry: "AA is the answer!" Then again, many different groups in society fiercely defend their position. Some of these causes...the Catholic Church, the Pentecostals, the Bible-Belt Baptists, the Moonies, the Mormons, the Jehovas, the Nazis, the KKK. Without exception, each of these movements professes to have the only real solutions in life...the majority of them, in the name of god.

It's worth noting that the majority of AA culters claim that not only will the 12 steps work for alcoholics, but they will work for anyone in any life circumstance! It's a "program for living." they profess. Good information to know...I can't get my beagle under control for the life of me. Step 1: Admitted that we were powerless over our beagle, that our training had become unmanageable. Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore our beagle to sanity. Step 3....Quackery; a circus medicine show!

Let's look at the steppers' claims for a moment...

What They Say:

Alcoholics Anonymous is God inspired.

There's a popular little story that circulates around the AA tables, with slight variations as it travels:

God looked down at the alcoholics and didn't know what to do with them, so he stuck them all together, created AA and said: "You guys figure it out."

It's a cutesy and cuddly little nugget, I must admit. Did God also look down at Adolf Hitler and grant him the power to destroy life? Addy claimed that yes, God did just that. Did God grant the Catholic church his blessing in their historical inflictions of selling salvation to frightened sinners, forced conversions and torture/murder?Apparently so.

So why does AA boast such saving grace?

It's a simple truth that when like-minded people get together, whatever the common bond may be, they find an inner strength that on their own they would not experience. It's good therapy for 12 steppers to share their common issues and seek out solutions.

It's also healthy for anyone to look inward and change harmful thinking and behaviour. AA paves the way for such an exercise in the case of alcoholics, although their path is a very steep slope; they claim a direct line to God. They insist that every member tap into that line, and cease all efforts at self-sufficiency ever after.

There's one passage in the AA "Big Book" that should urge a reader to close the book and never open it again:

"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way."
(Page 58, Chapter 5)

If God drafted those words, I don't want to know him. This passage however is all the evidence most die hard steppers need to believe that they've cornered the market on recovery and that God serves them in a very unique and privileged fashion.

In the first part of that arrogant gospel, the program is setting itself up as the only solution for alcoholics. It cannot be read any other way. It's too bad that we have to endure four chapters before this bomb is dropped on us.

The latter section of that passage is perhaps one of the most judgemental and all out condemning presumptions to be found in AA literature; if you cannot accept the AA program, it's not AA's fault...you have a problem! But don't be too hard on yourself...you were likely "born that way". You are one of the "unfortunates". It's bad enough that AA insists that the alcoholic has some inherent "disease"...now to heap one more weight on a member's back, they claim that certain people have an even uglier condition known as denial.

This is the point where one should get out of the cult, and fast. The reality is that millions of people buy into this passage wholeheartedly. In fact it's read aloud at the beginning of most AA meetings. If a member stays sober and stays in AA, they almost always take the pedestal and look down on those who "will not completely give themselves" to their simple program. If one leaves AA and ends up drunk again, he or she will most likely adopt an impenetrable sense of guilt and self-loathing, believing themself to be an utter failure, as a result of the conditioning process imposed by AA. This is proven time and time again, as many, like I did, begin a cycle of going in and out of AA for years on end. They are neither convinced of AA's claim to saving grace, nor are they convinced that AA is entirely wrong. The fact that "they seem to have been born that way" only heightens their despair and keeps them trapped in a personal hell. Any hope they have of changing their lives is ultimately dissolved in another drink. It would be a mistake to underestimate the power of this cult. People have committed suicide because they believed that they had failed AA and thus failed at life.

I  welcome any stepper who can offer a sensible rebuttal. Fire away. But while I'm waiting...

What they say:

Only God can relieve you of your burden of addiction. (of course, god through AA) 

"We turned our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him..." 
(the 3rd step of Alcoholics Anonymous)

Though claiming to be non-religious, AA ultimately demands that one find God. Culters also insist that people cannot sober up through alternative religious associations or approaches; true salvation can only come from their unique approach to god. Remember, God wrote the 12 steps. Atheists and agnostics do not fare well; they always come under heavy attack by ever vigilant steppers. Bill's Big Book has a chapter targeted directly at such folks. Their argument is that you cannot change of your own accord; you don't have it within you to change. You must look beyond yourself for help, because you are truly a helpless human being. If you don't accept this, you won't be invited for coffee after the meetings, unless they have a good ole double dose of the holy ghost planned for your sorry ass.

In reality, atheists and agnostics can and do  recover from addictions with equal success as those of faith! If there is a god, that god is not an unreasonable autocratic overlord, demanding blind worship! We have the tools to change our own lives installed on our personal hard drives! Certified professionals also have tools to help us if we choose to go that route.

I'll say at this juncture that I do have a personal belief in God, but I'm not speaking, as AA does, of some sort of mystical faith healing.

If there is a God, he gave us what we innately possess...an underlying moral code of conduct toward our fellow man (unless you're a serial killer) and the ability to find and apply practical, scientific solutions to life problems. This ability is written into our blueprints, whether we believe that it came from God or not. AA would have you believe that you posses NO such instincts, but rather a "disease" that rules your every decision. They will tell you that you simply need to remain neutral, ignore your inner voice of reason, and depend only on group and god to cause change in your life. If you have severe chest pains, do you have people pray over you or do you get yourself to a hospital?

When members find themselves struggling with their program (usually as a result of their logical and reasonable instincts not able to digest the outrageous tenets of AA) they are told time and again to *"go back to the 3rd step, and do it properly." At this point the hopeless one is handed needless guilt, and in an ironic twist, is drawn closer to the program. This is cult conditioning at its finest. With 25 years of AA in me, (and finally out of me) I can assure you that this is exactly what happens.

In joining AA, you must leave your inherent sensibility at the door. The process of evolving through the twelve steps is a process wherein one abandons any and all free thought. One's own ideas and approaches to life are rejected as "self-will". AA meetings are filled with constant affirmations that an alcoholic is a "diseased" individual, and therefore powerless to change on his or her own strength. This "disease" is a lifetime condition; a member can never expect to live successfully without AA.

*3rd step..."We turned our will and our lives over to the care of god as we understood him..."

A disease of denial

AA World Services forbids scientific research and clinical studies of its members. One can somewhat justify this stance I suppose, in the interest its members' anonymity as well as AAWS's refusal to link itself to outside interests, but their closed door policy only solidifies their cult status.

Speaking of cult status, check out my blacklist...what AA World Services doesn't forbid is any form of lunacy perpetrated by its members!

All that said, every three years AAWS conducts its own membership studies. According to their humble findings, a mere 36% of the people who walk through the doors remain active and sober members for more than one year. (It's up for debate whether or not it's even that high) Devout 12 Steppers have a cliched response to this reality:

"It's the only disease that tells you that you don't have a problem; it's a disease of denial" 

Thus they easily write off the 64% who leave and never return. We can tie their twisted logic directly to that tidy little sentence in the Big Book that accuses untold millions of lacking the honesty to "completely give themselves to this simple program."

"Prior to alcoholism as defined by AA, the only other “social ill” for which denial was considered a symptom was in the Middle Ages. In the “diagnosis” of witches, a sure sign of a woman being a witch was that she denied it. It was based on common sense. A real witch would deny it. It must have been as difficult for someone accused of witchcraft to argue their way out of it as someone today who, once accused, can’t help but “prove” their alcoholism by denying it. It is important to point out that AA members really believe that alcoholism is a disease with the specific characteristics mentioned here. Much of the reason for this is entirely semantic.

self-proving definition: the disease of alcoholism

By defining alcoholism as a disease and attaching each of the elements of the disease theory to that definition, it proves itself. Just like the basic assumptions about witchcraft proved to almost everyone’s satisfaction the existence of witchcraft in the Middle Ages." 

(A Critical Analysis of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Twelve Steps by Ken Ragge)

It's a fact that people who overcome their addictions, whatever course of action they take, are successful because of one reason alone...they made the decision to stop or moderate their drinking. Period. It's a fact that many problem drinkers learn to successfully moderate their drinking (Clinical studies show us that 50% of problem drinkers adopt healthy moderation.) Through a wealth of research, we learn that more people have quit drinking on their own than those who have used AA. Team Bill's take on that...if you quit drinking on your own, or you claim to moderate your drinking, surely you're not truly happy. With torch and pitchfork in hand, they'll call you a "dry drunk". AA members may believe that it was only through the twelve steps that they were able to change their lives. On one hand, it's a natural response on their part that they tie their salvation to the last place they looked for help...to AA. They were ready to quit when they joined AA, and subsequently credit the 12 steps for causing this life transformation. Had they stepped into an addictions counsellor's office when they were ready to quit, the counsellor would have gotten the credit. Had it been a church, then the church gets the accolades. The point is, they were going to quit, regardless of where they landed in their efforts. Their lofty sentiment can also be accounted for by the very cult conditioning that AA imposes on its members. At its very best, Alcoholics Anonymous is simply a support network of non-professionals who have some good ideas and many not so good ideas.

As I mentioned, I was involved in AA for 25 years. I've been to meetings in roughly 20 different cities. I've been to conventions and I was an AA "sponsor". I can assure you that certain beliefs are threaded right through the fabric of their society. For example, if you say, at an AA table, that you aren't sure whether you have a problem or not, you're instantly told that yes, you do in fact have a problem. This is a patent response across the board, regardless of demographics or regions within AA. You need never say another word about your life beyond that. Nobody will ever ask you to elaborate; it's obvious to them at that point that you're simply in a state of denial. You showed up there, and according them,

"People who don't think they have a problem don't walk into AA meetings".

I may think I'm having a heart attack, and thus get myself to the emergency room, but no doctor in his right mind is going to strap me to a gurney and cut my chest open without first determining my condition!

Alcoholics Anonymous is a highly archaic and close-minded organization. They refuse to be scrutinized by society on any level. They reject medical findings and scientific approaches. Members who have difficulty in absorbing the doctrine are accused of over-analyzing (using logical thought) and ducking the truth. AA has a rich history of badgering newcomers, judging anyone who opposes them, and condemning anyone who leaves the group for greener pastures. As proof-in-point, simply go to the world wide web and you'll find countless steppers breaking their own anonymity and engaging in all out ungodly verbal warfare in defence of their turf in the face of anything that puts the 12 steps under scrutiny. If they were being paid to operate in the manner that they do, the ethical breaches would tie up court rooms for decades.

If you believe that Alcoholics Anonymous is God-inspired, and if you accept 12 steppers' claims to have experienced a new "lease on life" and a "spiritual experience" then you must also accept that God himself is intolerant, judgemental, controlling, demanding, gossipy, slanderous, one-sided, closed minded and unrealistic-these are the fruits of the 12 steps. History has proven it. Just the facts.

More Reason Why 12 step programs Don't Work

This is a very solid video that explains a lot. Well worth a view!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ_6flmLysc

Alcoholics Anonymous...Behind The Mask

After over twenty-five years in, out of and around a vast number of AA groups, I can assure you that what most onlookers perceive AA to be, and what AA truly is are two separate realities.

What they say:

AA is purely voluntary, and its steps are but suggestions..."Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:" (from AA's "Big Book", chapter: "How it works")

The Truth:

If you enter "the rooms" as a member or potential member, you will be told time and again that the 12 steps are your ONLY way to salvation. It's also written into their literature: "Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program...they are not at fault, they seem to have been born that way."  (from AA's "Big Book", chapter: "How it works")

"They seem to have been born that way"? What a gross and irresponsible condemnation!

Notice the contradiction in the two quotes? 

The first impression upon opening the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous is that it is a friendly, suggested solution. That changes quickly. Notice how the program presents itself, in the latter quote, as the only solution? If you sift through their literature and sit at enough 12-step tables, one thing becomes abundantly clear-they are no more a suggested program of recovery than a bible belt faith healing church is a mere suggested doctrine to its masses; if you do not accept the AA program, there is something wrong with you! That second quote is an ultimatum, and in reality, serves as a major influence on the harsh, often behind-your-back judgement that plagues AA circles. Go to a meeting and tell the kind folks that you disagree with their program, whether in part or in full. You will likely get a smile or two, perhaps a polite rebuttal. You may be approached after the meeting with a request for a one-to-one intervention. You will also light up the coffee shop gossip like a Christmas tree. Common gossipy condemnations: "He'll be drunk in no time" "She doesn't want help!" "It's his disease talking."  Yes, apparently our "disease" is a living breathing entity within us. You will be ostracized and left on the sidelines. You will be verbally attacked by hard-nosed evangelical old-timers. If you continue to attend meetings and speak in them, you'll notice people looking away when it's your turn to talk- fidgeting, looking at their watches, offering not-so-subtle sighs, and generally ignoring you. Think I'm exaggerating? Think again.

The smart people get out. I've seen groups all but dismantled as a result of gossip and hard-lined preaching. I've seen groups taken hostage by old timers and their chosen circle of disciples. I've witnessed people leaving in despair after learning that they were the subject of slander and gossip. I've seen groups broken into factions, each clique with its own unique, exclusive slant on recovery, keeping at bay anyone who did not share their self-inflated views. I've seen groups close down for all of these reasons. I only wish that more groups would close down.

Why do faithful steppers act so sensitive, hostile and cliquish? This is just a hunch, but I'm not alone in my conclusion...you are dealing with very insecure people. They're clinging to this rubber raft of a program to save themselves from drowning in their addiction. When you start roughing up the waters, you are no longer an individual with a voice of your own, but a direct threat to them. If they're so secure in their salvation, why the need to react?

"Their argument is that those who depart are bound to fail altogether, since theirs is the only road to recovery. Within AA groups themselves, people who leave the program are ostracized by their former "soul mates" who predict -- some might even say they hope for -- the prodigals' failure and demise. That is, unless they return to the fold." (Stanton Peele, "AA is ruining the world"-Huffington Post)

Furthermore...

Thousands of  people each year find themselves mandated by the criminal courts to attend AA as the result of a conviction.  AA is a religious and dogmatic cult, however loudly 12-step devotees cry that they have no religious interests. Church and State must remain separate! This is a reckless imposition on behalf of our legal system. It violates a citizen's personal rights and freedoms, and it is clearly evidence of how blindly AA is trusted by outsiders. That said, we are gaining ground-check out this court transcript:

http://cdn.ca9.uscourts.gov/datastore/opinions/2013/08/23/11-15354.pdf

What they say:

AA takes no stance on religion.

The Truth:

"For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." (From the 12 traditions of AA) To expand on that, it is common practise for members to hold hands after each meeting and recite the Lord's Prayer. If you want to fit in, you'd better join the circle.

"But there is one who has all power-that one is God. May you find Him now!"  (from AA's Big Book, chapter: "How it works")

Not a religious organization?

They will tell you that your personal god can be anything..a tree, a lamp, a Christian god or a Buddhist god...as long as you find some entity to believe in beyond your own strength. (You are NOT an individual, you are a helpless drunk, and you will accept this and take the medicine they're offering you.) Go ahead and tell them you're not looking for a god...they'll help you find one quickly. The very 12 steps are laced through and through with the notion of salvation being found only through a god.

They devote an entire chapter in their Big Book Bible to agnostics (those who are uncertain about the existence of God) and atheists. The motive of the chapter is to steer the reader into accepting God as the only guide through the 12 steps. One cannot remove God from the 12 steps without the steps falling flat. Their claim to have no religious interest is a mere sales pitch to attract members who are not looking for a religious solution. It's the good old bait and switch routine.

In my experience, if you attend AA meetings long enough  as a self proclaimed agnostic or atheist, you will be in for some pretty cold stares, corrective verbal assaults and again, you'll be the subject of after-the-meeting gossip. At this point, their "suggested" program of recovery takes on all of the momentum of a hard line baptist church service on a speeding train.

What they say:

"If anyone who is showing the inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him." (From the "Big Book" of AA)

Allow me to add to that thought: If anyone who is showing the inability to control his drinking can find an alternative path to success in either moderating or stopping drinking, who is AA to question it?

Yet they do...

The truth:

There are some damning and well worn lines around the 12-step tables...ones often thrown out in utter contempt at an unsuspecting newcomer. Usually such a verbal lashing comes after a newcomer tells the group that they are "checking it out" for now, and that they're not entirely sure that AA is for them just yet, or that they're not sure if they have a problem or not.

"People who don't need this place don't question whether or not they have a problem. You need to be here or you wouldn't have showed up!"

Some members get their noses right in the mud:

"If you're going to lie to yourself, we can't help you."

"You're not fooling anyone!"

"No-one's forcing you to be here, but if you leave, you'll be back."

You cannot be kicked out of AA, as they are bound by their 12 Traditions, one of them being: 
"The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking". That said, unless you're willing to tow the party line, you won't want to stick around very long. Bullies have ways of keeping their playground segregated.

I cannot emphasise enough just how deeply threaded and widely accepted this utterly crass and condemning behaviour is within AA!

I could go on and on, but chances are if you're reading this blog, you already suspect foul play within Bill Wilson's boot camp.

For related reading, check this article out:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stanton-peele/problems-with-aa_b_989832.html

12 Step Slogan Salvation

Had a bad day at work? Like to tell that boss to go South...way South? Grab a Slogan Instead!

Feel like guzzling some Stoli, maybe kicking a puppy into traffic, punching out a gum-ball machine, hitting a biker bar? Grab a Slogan Instead!

Drowning in despair because while you were spilling your guts to your sponsor on the phone, your PVR didn't pick up the Bill Wilson Story on the late, late night forgotten TV network..and the cookies you were baking for the show are sending smoke signals from your oven? You know the drill.                                                 

Oh, the sweet slogans of AA. How do they save thee, let me count the ways.


There are just so many choose from! It's a mental candy store for crackpots! I feel like a kid again! Run with me, oh run with me..dance in the colours of the spiritual rainbow! Bathe in Bill Wilson's fountain of life!

Where do I start? Well, I'll just go to my top five all time faves, number one being my personal pinnacle of all out peace and perfection. 




5) Let Go and Let God

I love it; I'm no longer responsible for my own problems! Okay, Here I go. My balloons of self-will are floating away now, high into the stratosphere. There they go. Goodbye, oh burdens! Oh, look..I see a hand reaching out of the sky..it's grabbing those terrible helium breathing monsters; it's crushing them! But what if the *god of my understanding is a tree or a telephone pole? What if my balloons get snagged? Then I'm stuck with them! Now I have fear. What do I do with that?

4) F.E.A.R. (False Events Appearing Real, OR F**k Everything And Run.)

Well I'm glad we cleared that up! My fear isn't real. Pheeww! I was about to have a real drink! And just in case my false emotions end up morphing into reality somehow, those sneaky bastards, like those feelings that the old timeys tell me I have..that "disease" sent by Satan to destroy me, 
I can go with the latter take on this slogan and head for the hills. But which way do I run?...

3)  Think, Think, Think

Toss me a visual Old Timey, I'm stuck on this one.  Think of puppies? Rainbows? Dropping my father-in-law off on a deserted highway? The "disease" that's feasting on my brain while I sleep? Pick a new god of my understanding perhaps? I like Bob Newhart. He'd be a cool god. Can I use Bob Newhart? I don't understand. Which thought...where, when, why, who, how? Don't interrupt me, I'm thinking.  Are there no-no thoughts that I should know about? Can I get a filing cabinet or a jump-drive so I can sort this shit out? Throw me a bone guys! Share your wisdom with me...

2) Pass It On

Pass the coffee pot? The collection basket? The stale donuts? The fart I've been stifling so that I don't interrupt the speaker? Oh, you mean pass on my AA salvation! Of course! In fact, you can have it all. I'm done with it. I've re-sorted my priorities. Thanks for everything...


1) First Things First

And second things second, third things third? Got it. Wait...what comes first? Who's on second? A quiz? I love quizzes!

"Johnny has to do three things today. He has to get little Suzy from the daycare, cook supper and go to an AA meeting. But the meeting is at 5 pm, and Johnny's wife won't be home until 5:15. Does he:

A) Get Suzy from the daycare, cook supper, wait for Mommy and arrive a bit late to the meeting...

OR

B) Get Suzy from the daycare, fly her to the McDonalds drive thru and take her to AA with him?



Okay, give me sec....right, got it...B! I was right? Woo Hoo! Of course, because if he misses the meeting, his disease will kick his 
ass and he will lose it all and die on skid row! 






Oh, the AA slogans....true beacons of light in the dark halls of addiction!

*3rd Step of AA..."We turned our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.."

Knowledge is power.

Found this site this morning. It's well worth the read!

The 12 Biggest Lies of AA

Alcoholics Anonymous...We Will Do Your Thinking For You

I certainly do not stand alone in my pursuit to remove the guarded veil of secrecy that Alcoholics Anonymous hides behind, and to penetrate the blind faith that society as a whole places in the age old movement. The new movement to re-examine Alcoholics Anonymous and demand answers from it is growing by leaps and bounds within many facets of our culture.

My personal call to action...by AA hands, my marriage was thoughtlessly dissected and directed under reckless scrutiny and ill advice. I almost lost my marriage through a process of conditioning directed at my wife by both AA and AL-Anon big wigs...conditioning that had very little basis in fact surrounding my own recovery. This is what led me to want to educate those who may be unfamiliar with the real machinery of AA, and to serve as one more supportive voice for those who may be considering joining AA, or considering getting out of Bill Wilson's boot camp. I have no agenda beyond this. I have no take on your own personal story, though I do hope that you will share your personal story. People are as unique and individual as stones on a beach. We could no more categorize and generalize those stones than we could claim authority to fence in anyone's life and herd them into church basements like mindless cattle. AA however, and related 12 step groups do just that! As blogger Laura put it:

These people have no business advising you how to train your dog, let alone how to live your life!

Do you want your life to be tossed among a heap of nameless, shapeless masses, to be identified only by the doctrine with which you are affiliated? If such an approach actually changed your life for the better, then so be it; I want to hear from you! I cannot attack this with a biased bullet, as many claim to have experienced major life changes through the 12 steps. 

However, I cannot help but think of an old and dear friend of mine, who is 30 years sober through AA. I also know his wife, which brings me to my point. You see, she is an Al-Anon woman, who was heavily abused for years, before she got out and met this friend of mine and subsequently married him. She is deeply rooted within the recovery community, and makes her rounds, not so much because she cares about helping others, but because what worked for her, (did it really though?) she feels the incessant need to impose on others..that whole cookie cutter, cattle herding idea...the very backbone of 12 step groups! The problem with this is that life is not black and white..it is one million shades of grey. This woman can be very, how do I say it, up front and coldly insistent with her thoughts as regards to recovery and to marriage, especially marriage to a problem drinker. Her glowing achievements are two-fold...she repels many people, but in equal measure she draws vulnerable people to her, and directs their lives in true old-timey, hard-assed, 12 step Big Book thumping fashion. The consequences of her grip on the local recovery community are still outweighing the rate at which her personal recovery group is shrinking. (The one wherein she holds court as the group matriarch) She backs her claims fiercely with the 12 steps, of both AA and Al-anon. 

One day this friend of mine confided in me regarding his wife's occasional callous, demanding demeanor toward him. I asked him how he felt about that treatment coming from his wife, and not in a smart ass way, but in an honest way, as one friend would ask another. (I'm big on friends before affiliations)

His reply:

"Well, it's better than how I used to live. I can't go back to what I was."

So he was resigned, and okay with it.

The trouble is, these people are everywhere, and they operate within 12 step communities like termites on rotting wood. They search out newcomers, frightened wives, alcoholics and hard drinkers who will grab every last straw in the heat of their own desperate moments in life. 

Trust me, I was indoctrinated at age 16, a street kid, loaded on cocaine, booze, and without hope. AA came along and presented itself as my only saviour. I was programmed to believe that my destructive thoughts and actions were a product of my disease , and the good times and positive achievements came only as a result of my working the steps.

To Sponsor :  "I had a great time tonight with that Sheri girl I just met!"

Sponsor: "Great! See what happens when you work those steps?"

To Sponsor: "That waitress I work with has me at my rope's end! I just want to scream at her!"

(I'm dulling it down...I'm usually not that precisely polite in the heat of a moment. :)

Sponsor: "Woah! Back it up! Get back into your steps!"

So you see...well, you draw your own conclusions.

I was a shy child, and a child of divorced parents. The parent war was in full rage, and my self esteem out of the gate was basically in the toilet. That is no excuse at all, but being in such a state, as many addicted souls find themselves, it is proven that many such a person will find a 12 step group and take it for face value, as I did, clutching the 12 steps like a life raft! If you're drowning and someone throws you a rope, you'll grab hold! You won't question it, because if you let go, you may just mark your doom! It is reckless and irresponsible for these unqualified "sponsors" and other ill-advising members, with all of their individual slants and agendas, whether within Al-Anon or AA, to hand out life altering curriculum to vulnerable souls!

If you leave you will surely die. If you're having a bad day, you aren't working your steps. If you're having a good day, be careful...you will get cocky have a slip. You are diseased for life. You cannot leave AA safely, ever...etc etc add puke. It goes on every day in every 12 step basement!

I'll deal with one the biggest offenses of all, as goes negligent and ineffective generalizations in my next post..those precious AA Slogans. 

There is no agenda here ladies and gents...we just want to get closer to the truth! 

Written Off...Sentenced and Condemned by AA

I'm back in a recovery home. My life is in ruins as far as I can tell. I got drunk..mean drunk. A policeman arrived about the music blaring. I picked a fight with him then gave my wife a verbal lashing for disagreeing with me. The copper was my wife's cousin, thankfully for me; I slept in my own bed that night. My wife, however, was terrified. I wasn't planning on going insane and drinking myself into a borderline blackout..I never did.  

My wife is leaving me with our children in tow. But I don't know this yet as I sign into a 28 day treatment. All I know is that vodka isn't doing me any favours, and it has to stop. 

I just can't seem to "get it". What do I do when I can't seem to "get it"? I try a little harder to "get it". I was told that from day one, some 25 years ago at my first AA meeting. It's written into AA's "Big Book" in the chapter "How it works"..."Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program..." So there it is. It's my fault that I'm bouncing in and out of these meetings, always worse each time I return, always latching onto a recovery home when my desperation reaches a point of unbearable pain, when even a meeting a day and a marathon session with the members at the coffee shop afterwards won't calm my inner storm. It's my fault. AA said it. How can AA be wrong? They are millions of members strong. They've spawned recovery homes on nearly every continent. Judges sentence people to AA (that's another topic) It's my fault. I am riddled with guilt. I drown the guilt in vodka. They told me I should feel guilty. 

And it's your fault if you don't get it. You should feel guilty.

But wait...

Was I... were WE given the proper medication, the appropriate treatment in the first place? Or were we handed a prescription that actually has severe side effects?

For me personally, all I was plagued with was my own refusal to let go of my selfish way of living and my inability to see myself as someone other than this person who was , as AA says, "incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty". 

It happens to people. It's not a disease. My experience tells me that it was merely a matter of making some adjustments to my personal machinery. You may be different...but I would guess that if you're reading this, you may have a doubt or two about Bill W's salvation plan.

So, the recovery home...

It's heavily influenced by AA's 12 steps. We are encouraged to enter the 12 step world afterwards, unless we reside close to the recovery home, which offers meetings of its own. So, it's a non-official AA. 

Day 1, call my AA sponsor, tell him where I'm at. He tells me that he tried to help me, but I went back out drinking. He's hurt. Call someone else, he says. I'm wasting his time, he says. He's a busy man, racking up notches in his bible belt. In retrospect, his real problem was that he couldn't save me, and his ego is bruised. I'm crushed. I thought we were friends. He represents a good cross section of AA Old Timers, who thrust their archaic and unqualified doctrine upon the more vulnerable of the AA species, with very little compassion for those who "don't get it".

Day 3, formally introduce myself in group, group leader listening on. It goes like this:

Group Leader: "You're not staying 90 days? Why?"

"I have to return to work. I can't miss that much time before I go broke and things don't get paid. On top of that, my boss is going to be in a bad spot if I don't return to work before summer's end. I'm staying 28 days."

GL: "Then you don't really want help"

"Of course I do! You just met me! You haven't asked me one thing about my life!"

GL: "I'm done talking with you. Next..."

From that moment forward, for the remainder of my stay, I am barely allowed to participate in group. Group leader, merely a sober graduate of the place, no credentials beyond that, no certification, (sound familiar?) calls my wife, and tells her I really don't want help, and that getting away from me was a smart move. She trusts him, and stays gone for nearly a year, despite my subsequent maintenance of a sober life. This is a beloved recovery home in my area, and the ongoing press praise they garner is dizzying-more than generous for a place that boasts a mere 4% success rate. (according to follow up of the graduates)

OK, so this isn't exactly AA we're dealing with. But this is...

My wife meets a couple while I'm gone, in her pursuit of answers. She doesn't want the marriage to end, she just wants a loving husband...one who doesn't guzzle vodka almost daily and who doesn't start fights with cops. The couple..husband is in AA, a long time member. The wife is a pillar in local Al-anon groups, as well as a local group that ties itself to this recovery home I'm in. I've known them for years myself, colliding with them often as I bounced around church basements in search of reality.

Couple is a coaching team, a "tour de force" locally for those afflicted with the "disease"...the drunks and their families. Couple represents 99% of the sponsors in the AA biz..no real credentials, and too many personal views. 

Couple (well, in all fairness, the dominant female half more than hubby) tells my wife to stay clear of me until I am good and healed. Why? asks my wife. Couple tells her that I have a disease, that I will hurt her. But he went for help, my wife says. Not good enough, couple says. He should have stayed at the recovery home for 90 days, couple insists. Couple tells her I'm a drunk, I'm a con, I don't really want help. How do you know for sure? wife asks. All drunks think alike, couple assures her. When will he be healed? wife asks. We will tell you if we think he's healed enough to be a husband, couple says. I speak with the husband often over the phone, and he becomes my unofficial "sponsor". I'm very candid about my recovery to him, and he continually encourages me and tells me I'm doing great, which by all realistic measure, I am.

Couple doesn't tell me that they're coaching my wife.

My wife stays away. Nearly a year passes. No communication with my wife outside of visitation with my daughter. I bring up our marriage, she changes the subject. She was encouraged by the couple to such and end. I finally end our marriage, believing that my wife is only trying to avoid telling me that it's over herself. My wife panics. She didn't want to end the marriage. She was merely "letting me sit in my shit" as the couple directed her to do. She thought she was saving the marriage. I am sober and moving along. My wife is a bit naive, God bless her, but she trusts these people. They have a reputation locally for helping(?) many, many families. My wife finally divulges the utter sickening details of this coaching she's been receiving from the couple; again, more so from the dominant female half. I am floored. I call them, and demand that they return my call. No call back. Weeks pass, no call. To this day, no call. My unofficial sponsor has mysteriously fallen silent and become unavailable. My wife receives no phone calls either.

Here is a very similar story, and one that is not uncommon within the groups, from Robert (via "12 Step Horror Stories"). Robert is speaking of a woman he knew who attended AA:

"While at the meetings, she was told that she was clearly an out-of-control alcoholic and that if she was serious about recovery she would have to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. As a newly single mother trying to raise a daughter and transitioning back into the work force, she told them that she would be unable to do that, as the babysitting costs would be more than she could afford, and the meetings would take time away from her daughter, who was about three years old, and who was also transitioning to life without daddy.

Essentially, this woman was told that she wasn't serious about recovery and that she would undoubtedly relapse and get worse and worse. She was told not to think about coming back to another AA meeting until she was ready to get serious about her sobriety and do 90 meetings in 90 days."

I could fill an entire blog with testimony from those who have gone through the Bill Wilson's meat grinder. Devout 12 steppers will counter attack and claim that AA simply isn't this way in "good" meetings. Research trumps that defense.

I ultimately opted out of the 12 step life, and I'm good with that; very good with that. I changed my life...on my own. Whether or not you are like me is your call. The important thing is that you don't let a twelve-stepper, who's only interest is bloating himself up, imposing his or her AA agenda, or putting another sponsee notch in the bible belt (yes, they are a religious cult) tell you who you are and what you should do, which, sadly, is woven into the very fabric of AA. 


My wife and I are happily together now, and safely removed from the lie that is the 12 steps. And you know what? I did get it. I got it when I realized that I had the power to choose...that I was not a product that required 12 step assembly to function properly...that I do not have a mental condition that fills me with "stinking thinking" and an insurmountable desire to drink unto self-destruction. I am free because I decided to be free. If I screw up in life, as humans do, I make it right and move on. I don't call a sponsor and indulge in a self-loathing process and play victim because I acted human, not "diseased". You too can be free. Be responsible for yourself, plain and simple, and enjoy life. Drink if you want, don't drink if you shouldn't. 

If you need to get help, whether it be counselling, hospitalization or psychiatric, do so! But NEVER let a 12-step group or a self-gratifying AA or Al-Anon member tell you what you should be doing! 

Be free.